new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they need to just BURY HIM!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
