Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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