please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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