I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Also, beer. Big fan.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
