hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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