the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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