i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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