I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
