Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
