It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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