Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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