How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
