Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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