i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
