New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
