he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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