I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
