Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
