you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
