Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
