you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
