gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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