my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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