Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
