she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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