? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
