A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
