I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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