the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
