All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
