This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
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