Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Someone shattered a urinal.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Loading more great texts...