ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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