Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize