North Korea, Best Korea!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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