i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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