I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
