Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
