it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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