I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
