So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
