I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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