how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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