I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
