lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
