He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
