No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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