I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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