Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
