And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
