does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
