i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
