Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
