it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I need water and some morals
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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