Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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