You're so nebulous sometimes
I cannot find my penis.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
