I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
