Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
