This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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