I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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