HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
