I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
