I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
