I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
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He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
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Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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