Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
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