i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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