i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
