I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
