Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize