I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
