i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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