Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize