i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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